Thank You, Autism

I owe autism a big debt of gratitude. This whole journey of raising a child with challenges has molded me and shaped me in so many ways that it would take a month of Sundays to even scratch the surface. I strongly suspect that's the story of many parents of kids with disabilities. But here it is anyway - a woefully inadequate list of the "Ways I Thank Autism."

Thank you Autism, for teaching me patience. I thought I was a patient man, until I realized after 12 years of sleepless nights that this would probably be the norm for the rest of our time with Zachary.  No matter how hard we try, no matter what medications the doctor prescribes, that boy is just not going to sleep through the night. Thank you for teaching me not to blow my top when the Veggie Tales video starts over for the 23rd time in the last 6 minutes. Thank you for teaching me that my son's happiness and joy are what's really important, not my precious schedule.

Thank you Autism, for teaching me about unselfishness.  I've just recently learned by experience that Zachary's selfishness is pretty much the norm for a 16-year old. Whatever happened to "please" and "thank you" and respecting your parents? There's not enough bandwidth available to go there. His drama and demanding nature may be the most typical of his characteristics. No matter how unappreciated I may feel, despite the fact that I don't get thank-yous or hugs for my sacrifices, it's not about me. It's about him. Thank you for teaching me to suck it up and deal with it. I'm the parent, not a victim.

Thank you Autism, for a new language. I've never been one to bow at the altar of political correctness, but my new language is about respect. I'll never call my son "autistic" any more than I would call a child with leukemia "cancerous." His autism doesn't define him.

Thank you Autism, for helping me see through new eyes. I once dated a girl with cerebral palsy. I remember how someone absolutely gushed over a friend who opened the door for her. "Awww... that was so nice of you!"  Please. Showing decency doesn't make you a rock star. I've learned in many ways to see past the disability, and have learned that showing kindness and respect to those with physical or intellectual differences is just the right thing to do. It doesn't earn us points with God or anyone else.

I have a long way to go. We all do. But I thank autism, and I thank my son, for showing me just a glimpse of who I can become. I love autism for that.

For a copy of my new book, "Healed by Autism," click here.