Thank You, Autism

I owe autism a big debt of gratitude. This whole journey of raising a child with challenges has molded me and shaped me in so many ways that it would take a month of Sundays to even scratch the surface. I strongly suspect that's the story of many parents of kids with disabilities. But here it is anyway - a woefully inadequate list of the "Ways I Thank Autism."

Thank you Autism, for teaching me patience. I thought I was a patient man, until I realized after 12 years of sleepless nights that this would probably be the norm for the rest of our time with Zachary.  No matter how hard we try, no matter what medications the doctor prescribes, that boy is just not going to sleep through the night. Thank you for teaching me not to blow my top when the Veggie Tales video starts over for the 23rd time in the last 6 minutes. Thank you for teaching me that my son's happiness and joy are what's really important, not my precious schedule.

Thank you Autism, for teaching me about unselfishness.  I've just recently learned by experience that Zachary's selfishness is pretty much the norm for a 16-year old. Whatever happened to "please" and "thank you" and respecting your parents? There's not enough bandwidth available to go there. His drama and demanding nature may be the most typical of his characteristics. No matter how unappreciated I may feel, despite the fact that I don't get thank-yous or hugs for my sacrifices, it's not about me. It's about him. Thank you for teaching me to suck it up and deal with it. I'm the parent, not a victim.

Thank you Autism, for a new language. I've never been one to bow at the altar of political correctness, but my new language is about respect. I'll never call my son "autistic" any more than I would call a child with leukemia "cancerous." His autism doesn't define him.

Thank you Autism, for helping me see through new eyes. I once dated a girl with cerebral palsy. I remember how someone absolutely gushed over a friend who opened the door for her. "Awww... that was so nice of you!"  Please. Showing decency doesn't make you a rock star. I've learned in many ways to see past the disability, and have learned that showing kindness and respect to those with physical or intellectual differences is just the right thing to do. It doesn't earn us points with God or anyone else.

I have a long way to go. We all do. But I thank autism, and I thank my son, for showing me just a glimpse of who I can become. I love autism for that.

For a copy of my new book, "Healed by Autism," click here.

A New Adventure

It's summer break at our home. For the next few weeks, my wife and I will take turns staying home to care for our 16 year old son, Zachary. "The Zachster," as we affectionately call him, has low functioning autism and requires 24-hour care. He is non-verbal as far as words and sentences are concerned, but makes his needs known through a series of grunts, motions, and sometimes (okay, often) crying and screaming. Our greatest frustration is not being able to communicate with him on even an elementary level.

But this morning... SCORE! While I was busy in the kitchen, The Zachster brought me his laundry basket full of dirty clothes and set it down at my feet. Message: "Dad, I'm running out of clean shirts!" That's communication! It's breakthrough! Okay, so it seems like a silly thing to celebrate. But let me ask you parents of teenagers... how many of your kids willingly take care of their laundry?

I thought so. Listen, we take the victories where we can get them. And that's what this blog is about - celebrating our children with disabilities. It's about focusing on the positives; the things our Heavenly Father would have us learn, the ways He would have us grow spiritually through the testings and trials of loving someone who is unable to give very much back.

My new book, "Healed by Autism" is all about hope. It's based on God's eternal promise in Romans 8:28 that He works all thing for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Through the power of stories, I hope to share with you how God has healed our home, and brought light to many others by simply loving us through our difficulties. Come along on the journey with us. We would love to hear from you.

"Healed by Autism" is available by following this link. Or, send me a message here. I would love to send you a personalized signed copy. And don't be bashful about sharing your stories here as well.